Double Edged Hearts Read online

  I release a labored sigh and hug my knees to my chest.

  Which should I be more mad at myself for? Sleeping with him in the first place or the fact that I had wild unprotected sex with him all night.

  Thank God I’m on the pill. It’s a lifesaver. I can’t say I’d think about anything like that when I’m with him. That’s the problem. I don’t think.

  I’m not stupid. It’s just the loss of control. I know it’s shooting myself in the foot because being on the pill isn’t the only thing to consider when you have sex the way we did. I’m certain he’s had his host of women in the four-year span we’ve been apart. I’ve been with people too. I shouldn’t kid myself into thinking we’re a couple, because we aren’t, and now I need to figure out what I’m supposed to do when I see him again.

  After last night I know seeing him is inevitable.

  I slide off the bed and my eyes nearly pop out of my head when I glance at the clock on the wall and see it’s nine o’clock. Nine o’clock, as in I need to be at work in forty-five minutes and I’m going to be late as fuck.

  Shit.

  I run to the bathroom and take a quick shower, then I drag on my clothes lightning fast. I keep my hair down because it’s easier, then apply some tinted moisturizer and sweep over my lashes with mascara. I don’t look my usual, but I can make this work.

  There’s a knock at the door, and I nearly jump out of my skin.

  I rush over to answer it and find a very annoyed-looking Lyndsey standing before me holding a box of donuts.

  “You should be glad I’m your friend,” she scoffs and pretends to pout, although I think the pout looks real enough because she’s genuinely annoyed. It’s then I remember I was supposed to meet her for breakfast.

  “Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” I say, bringing my hands up to my cheeks.

  One of the things I liked about her when we first met was her love for sugar. It’s worse than mine. She’s my partner, and when we got placed on this assignment, we were grateful that we could support each other’s sugar cravings. It helps for the tough cases.

  She saunters past me and looks around the apartment suite like she’s checking for something.

  “Did you see Zack?” she asks, looking at me with narrowed slits, her bright blue eyes curious.

  “No.”

  “Is that a lie?” She inclines her head to the side and her honey blonde hair drifts over her shoulder.

  I laugh a little. “What? Why would I lie about something like that?”

  “I should tell you that I’ll be less mad at you if you agree you’re lying and tell me you spent the night with him.” Those sharp brows of hers arch, and she gazes at me with eager eyes while I stifle a groan.

  Zack is our supervisor. Back in LA, when we worked with him, I told him no several times when he asked me out. I all but rejoiced when he transferred to the Chicago office because it meant being free of him.

  Now I’m here and the man insists on picking up where he left off. I haven’t even been in Chicago for a full week yet, and he’s asked me out at least four times. My answer will still be the same.

  “No,” I say, which is the same thing I will keep telling him.

  Lyndsey shakes her head at me, walks over to the coffee table to set the donut box down, and places her hands on her hips so she can glower at me.

  “Okay, so first, I’m pissed because you totally stood me up and you know I need sugar when we have to deal with shitheads like our new dirty arms dealer. Second, what’s wrong with Zack? Are you sure you aren’t lying? Your skin’s all glowy, like…” She squints, and my cheeks flush.

  Lyndsey is the kind of woman who can look at a person and tell straight away if they’ve had sex. Given the fact that I don’t do it nearly as much as she does, I’m not that hard to figure out.

  I press my lips together while she studies me, and when her lips part, I know she suspects something.

  “Your skin’s glowing like a lightbulb. Are you seriously going to tell me you weren’t with a man last night?” she argues.

  “Oh my God, Lyndsey, must everything be about men? We have to be at work in less than half an hour.” I’m hoping that she’ll drop the questions by my mention of work.

  “We have to be there by ten. Zack sent a message earlier asking us to come in a bit later. He has a meeting that’s going to run late, and he wants to sit with us while we go over the findings from the last few days. I assumed when he messaged he was with you.”

  While I’m glad for the extra fifteen minutes, I won’t have her thinking Zack was with me in any capacity.

  “Lyndsey, please. I’m not going to say yes to him.”

  “Why the hell not? The man is gorgeous.”

  If she’d seen Alex, she’d know what gorgeous means. Zack is gorgeous, but not Alex gorgeous.

  With his jet-black hair, a face that’s all angles and planes, and that smooth olive skin that has a permanent tan like he’s been lying around in the Italian sun, Alex always looks like he just stepped out of a dream.

  He’s every bit the Italian stallion with his bad boy personality and image. Maybe that’s what I like. That’s why I can’t resist him. His arresting good looks prevent me from doing so. Or perhaps it’s the same curse that got Mom when she fell for my father. If it’s that, then I can’t allow that to happen to me.

  “Gorgeous isn’t always a good thing. I want a man for what’s inside him, not just the packaging,” I point out.

  “Packaging is nothing bad, Cora. Good God, woman.” She smirks and starts laughing.

  “I don’t want to date him,” I repeat for the millionth time.

  “He’s been chasing you since forever. Richard likes him. Isn’t that reason enough? Richard doesn’t like anybody. You should know that.”

  She’s not wrong. Richard is my… well, I’ve called him ‘uncle’ forever, although we aren’t related. He was my mother’s best friend. So he’s always been in my life and he took on the role of ‘father’ when I needed one the most.

  I was fourteen when I went to live with him. It was the day after my parents died. Richard took me in and looked after me. He’s worked for the Bureau for over fifty years, and now he’s the director. Definitely, my inspiration for joining the Bureau. Thinking about him now reminds me of why I definitely can’t be with Alex.

  “I’m right, aren’t I?” She nods. “Richard’s a good judge of character, and I’m certain he would love to see you with a great guy. Same as me.”

  “Thank you. And yes, you are right. Richard is a great judge of character.” My words feel empty and more like a mindless mantra.

  I’ve always valued Richard’s opinion, always looked up to him, and somewhat idolized him for his intelligence.

  The only time I’ve ever challenged him in any way was four years ago when he found out I was seeing Alex. He was furious. I’d never seen him look so angry and never with me. When he told me getting involved with a man like him would only end in pain I was so blinded by love I couldn’t see anything past how I felt about Alex. Then Richard hit me with a hard truth that changed my life and all that I believed.

  “So, that must mean something,” Lyndsey points out.

  “I just want to focus on work at the moment, and if I date, it’s not going to be someone at work.”

  It’s a lie, and that actually isn’t to do with Alex. I can’t date Zack because I don’t trust him. The man wants to get in my pants. That’s it. I know it is. He’s just after sex, and I hate that. I hate being with a man and knowing they just want me for my body. It’s the price of having double D’s. Few men look at me and see the real me. The only guy who’s looked at me like that is the one I mustn’t have.

  I continue to stare at Lyndsey as she looks on at me in surprise. I doubt many women have turned Zack down. I know she wouldn’t if she were single, but she has Owen. Her own Prince Charming. She’s been with him since she was sixteen. They were high school sweethearts and now they make their long distance relationship
work.

  “Fine. You win.” She rolls her eyes at me. “So, did you just oversleep?”

  I nod. Best to say that. There’s no way I can tell the truth. I can’t talk about Alex to anyone.

  It’s better that way. Saying the word mafia is dangerous enough as it is. I can’t talk like that around anybody who doesn’t already know that I’m linked to them in some way.

  What’s more important than that is keeping my head above water. If Alex knows I’m here, then the others must know too, the Chicago boss and his crew. Altogether, they’re known as The Four. They’re dangerous men nobody wants to mess with.

  I know I have to be more than careful. I’ll just do what I have to do in Chicago and leave.

  That’s it. The answer.

  I have to say goodbye.

  Lyndsey keeps her gaze trained on me as I walk over to the sofa and grab my purse.

  “Today’s going to be a long day, Cora,” Lyndsey says, and her mood instantly sinks. As she switches to business mode, I’m reminded that I don’t have time to be sidetracked by men because we have an important job to do.

  “Yes, I know. We’ll be lucky to leave by nightfall.” I sigh.

  “Nightfall? I’m thinking more along the lines of tomorrow morning. This guy is clever.”

  “He absolutely is,” I agree.

  We’re special agents in the counterterrorism division. We were called in from L.A to assist on a national security case here involving a Russian arms trafficker called Matvey Kuznetsov. He has links to a syndicate of international terrorists called The Hand. He’s in Chicago, and we don’t know why. What we do know is that if he’s here, there’s something brewing. The results of his last crime left over two hundred people dead in Sarajevo after a bomb attack. That’s the sort of thing he gets up to. I can only begin to imagine what his plans are here.

  Apart from a murder that alerted us to his presence two weeks ago he hasn’t been seen since and no one can find him. All we have is a delisted phone number for a phone that was probably tossed into the river.

  “I’ve never worked on anybody like this guy,” Lyndsey states.

  I have. Matvey is not the first arms dealer I’ve encountered. The last one was a guy called Goliath. Six years ago, I was called to Chicago by Claudius himself to help take him down. The table has literally turned from me helping a bunch of mobsters to being a federal agent.

  Unlike that time, Matvey is definitely going to be a challenge. He’s clever but I think he just has the right help. Whoever sent him here to do their bidding is making sure he’s untouchable.

  “We just have to be careful and work with what we have,” I answer.

  Lyndsey picks up the donut box. “Let’s go. We can eat these on the way and cheer ourselves up.”

  I nod and grab my jacket.

  We get outside to the parking lot, and the roar of a motorcycle makes me look up to the road above us past the upper level floor.

  There’s a biker there dressed in full black. I don’t have to guess who he is.

  That’s Alex.

  He’s on a midnight black Kawasaki that looks like it was pulled from the set of The Terminator. Instantly, my blood heats from the memory of last night.

  I gaze on wondering what I’m truly going to do about him.

  He speeds off, and I watch until I can’t see him anymore. Seeing him was a warning, a signal that he’ll be back.

  My traitorous body craves him like it always does, and eagerness fills me.

  It’s not good to keep secrets. What do I do, though, when my secrets become the master of me?

  My problem isn’t just that I can’t resist him—he has my heart too, and that’s the most dangerous thing about him.

  Chapter Two

  Alex

  His eyes are on me.

  Claudius Morientz didn’t become boss by not paying attention. I don’t have to wonder if he knows where I was last night. I know he does.

  Suspicion lurks in his eyes when he looks at me, and I don’t like it. He has one blue eye; the other brown. When he’s pissed, the blue eye is the one that gives all the emotion away. I’ve known him long enough to tell he’s mad as fuck, and it’s to do with me.

  He looks away, sits back in his chair, and focuses on what Dante is saying.

  We meet like this practically every day now. We gather here in Claudius’ office at our base in the city just to check in. It’s what you do when the wealth you own is overflowing. It’s what we do as mobsters who have their fingers in many pies. Legit, and not.

  More so on the legit side. I’m sure our forefathers who frequented Chicago in the early days would be shocked to shit to hear such a thing, and from guys like us who are as badass as they come.

  Dante is talking. I should pay attention. I can’t, however, because my damn mind is torn. Last night I knew I was jumping into the deep end of the fucking ocean, getting in way over my head by allowing Cora back into my heart.

  Now that she’s there, I can’t forget her, and worse, because I don’t want her working this case of hers any more than I want her being a fed.

  Few things shock me, but when I found out she’d joined the feds, I was shocked to shit.

  Eight years ago, we started this game. Because she was still in college, I saw her when I could and under wraps. Cora and I met through a cop who was helping us with a situation because he got dragged into it, not because he wanted to help out of the goodness of his heart. Cora and I hooked up then and had this covert long distance relationship that saw me and her bouncing between LA and Chicago. I even went to see her for the odd spontaneous visit when she was at MIT. It was no place for a guy like me who didn’t go to college and never planned to.

  The last time I saw her, she was working for a tech company, and she came here to see me. She was gone before I could even open my eyes. I looked for her everywhere for nearly two years before I stopped and realized she didn’t want to be found. Worse, she didn’t want me to find her.

  I did find her though. She resurfaced in LA after all that time of searching. I found her but I never allowed her to see me. I just wanted to make sure she wasn’t dead. That day I let her go from my mind, but she was still in my heart. I didn’t know what direction her life took next until two days ago when she went to the garden, our spot. It was after checking things out that I got the shocker of finding out my girl was now a fed. The worst type of thing in my world.

  When I learned she was here looking for Matvey Kuznetsov, I nearly lost my shit.

  He’s one mean son of a bitch who does the devil’s bidding. What the feds don’t realize is he’s not any old arms dealer, and not the usual they would have previously encountered. This guy is insane and knows people in high places.

  From what I’ve dug up on him… I know that whatever shit he’s in town for isn’t anything good. Arms dealers and anybody with those sort of fucked-up arrangements are never good.

  But what can I do?

  Would she listen to me if I asked her not to work the case?

  I doubt it.

  It tears me up thinking about it and the potential danger she could get herself into. The fact that she’s a fed sent the message loud and clear that she doesn’t want anything to do with me, but last night meant she’s still my girl.

  Dante continues to talk, but Claudius’ gaze shifts to me and lingers although he doesn’t say anything. I just stare back. It’s best to. He’s been doing that since we stepped in and the meeting began.

  “We stand to make a few million from that, Boss,” Dante says in a hearty voice that snaps me out of my thoughts. “Definitely by the end of this year if we can get the project underway.”

  He’s talking about the redesign of an old boarding school. The place is a dilapidated mess of shit. We just got an investment offer to build a complex of luxury apartments. Because it’s near the city center, we stand to make a shit load of money.

  We. That’s how it works. When Claudius took over the empire from our old boss
, Raphael Rossi, he changed up the hierarchy making the four of us his Capos and his father, Marcus, his consigliere. Claudius divided all the riches between us. It was like overnight wealth that would take care of our families for generations to come.

  We own ninety percent of the property and a majority of the businesses in Chicago. The money we get from anything new is split four ways.

  “I agree,” Claudius states, then focuses on Gio. “Gio, get this guy checked out. I want everything on him. Get Gibbs to do a thorough search too. I don’t want any nasty surprises.”

  Gibbs is our PI. He’s the kind of guy who can find out anything you need and I mean anything. The kind of shit people try to hide and it comes back to bite later on. We had a guy who was idiot enough to do that to us once. He now has one hand that can be deemed as functional.

  That was before we met Gibbs. When I first met him the way he worked reminded me of Cora. She always told me she wanted to go into private investigation and do her own thing. I guess that all changed. I wish I knew what happened.

  What changed her?

  Where did I go wrong?

  “No problem, Boss, I’ll call him and get everything sorted out,” Gio answers, snapping my attention back to the discussion.

  “Anything else we need to do with the contract itself?” I ask. I’m in charge of new contracts for the smaller businesses and business development, but because Dante is higher in the rank of our leadership, he was approached first with the offer for the school. I know there’s not going to be anything more for me to do because they would have talked it out already, but I’m asking to show interest. I haven’t said anything throughout the meeting. That’s strange even for me.

  “No, nothing yet,” Claudius answers. “What’s the situation with the Scarfonis?”

  “I should be closing the deal tomorrow. They needed some time to get the money together for the deposit on the hotel,” I explain.

  “Make sure you make it clear I don’t want no dead bodies in my hotels. If I even hear of one and the fucker didn’t die of natural causes, they’re fucked,” he warns.